Dear Tea Bagger,
I had a wonderful time celebrating our country's independence this year at the Jersey Shore. Before I left, I checked the taxpayer-funded weather service to figure out what clothes to pack. I traveled on taxpayer-funded highways across a taxpayer-funded causeway to a barrier island whose beauty is maintained by taxpayer-funded beach restoration. On the way here, we passed through the awesome New Jersey Pinelands, which are protected by taxpayer funded initiatives and strict governmental environmental regulations. Here at the shore, I viewed an impressive Fourth of July fireworks display, and although the fireworks may have been privately funded, the taxpayer-funded local police kept the hoards of traffic moving safely through the small towns before and after the event. I'm glad that the house that I am renting has indoor plumbing – I can't imagine what an outhouse must smell like in the 100 degree heat. Of course, that plumbing infrastructure was funded by the taxpayer, and I hope that its required maintenance is also being taken care of. Oh – I forgot to mention that I am posting this letter on the internet – whose impetus came from taxpayer-funded research and development dollars.
I know that you would prefer that the only thing we spend our tax money on is wars and subsidies to corporations. But I thank you for throwing a small part back to me to develop and maintain the infrastructure and environment that made my vacation pleasant.